Christmas Pop-Up Bar Returns To DC

Yes, it’s currently 85 degrees out, and yet Washington businesses are gearing up for the holidays. December is less than fifty days away, just disregard the unseasonably warm temperatures because the planet is dying. Embrace your holiday spirit with the return of a beloved Christmas pop-up bar that prides itself in adult fun.
Last winter, Washingtonians collectively lost their minds over a Christmas pop-up bar dubbed Miracle on 7th Street. People waited hours merely to step into the winter paradise. The interior truly mimics the name’s pun, making a shabby narrow bar resemble the extravagant Macy’s Department Store in the classic Miracle On 34th Street film. There’s also the occasional Santa, or that may just be an old guy with a beard who’s had one too many drinks. Try wishing for a better Congress – just in case.

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Miracle on 7th Street is essentially an all night, month-long holiday party complete with spiked eggnog and enough tinsel for a Hollywood Christmas blockbuster. Bartenders clad in Santa hats and reindeer antlers serve up a variety of ornate holiday-themed drinks – like sherry garnished with holly and pine. For the hot chocolate, they melt the marshmallows right on the bar with a blow torch.

The pop-up specializes in cocktails and festive names to accompany them. Last year, they offered a red and green scorpion bowl called ‘Mele Kalikimaka,’ and a mystery cocktail dubbed ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause.’ They also host special theme nights, and last year’s Hanukkah party incorporated Manischewitz punch pong. Heck, maybe the bar’s popularity probably stems from people liking to say outlandish orders aloud to bartenders.

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Last year’s special events ranged from weekly caroling concerts performed by the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington to ‘adult’ photo opportunities with Santa (remember you are still in public.) There are rumored gingerbread decorating contests to come this year, and even more caroling, if that’s possible.

But who could resist singing jolly tunes in such festive digs? The eclectic décor is truly astounding – gold ornamental reindeer and fake snow flakes line the shelves. There’s a nativity scene with dinosaurs and Godzilla action figures. The cheery wine glasses feature hand-painted Santa Clause faces.

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The mastermind behind the holiday mecca, Derek Brown, announced yesterday that the immensely popular bar will return this year: ‘Last year was so much fun, it’s hard to imagine how we could make it more fun, but guess what: we will.’ We’re shaking in anticipation.

Miracle on 7th Street will return on November 25th, the day after Thanksgiving. While feasting at the dinner table, make sure to leave room in your stomach for *special* milk and cookies the next day. The kind that make Santa at risk for a DUI while operating his sleigh.

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